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Sunday, 6 March 2011

Friendships

I have been in a reflective mood over the past week or so, cogitating on different things that bother me or which need to be discarded like an outgrown overcoat ready for bringing in the fresh and new and also getting rid of any negativity or unnecessary baggage.  But as always after I have drafted a post and published it I think of other things I want to add  and sometimes its a case of should I add to it or will it be a case of over egging the cookie.  Should I just leave it be.  Big decision and will I spoil the post as a result.    Eeehk! I don't like making decisions - my achilles heel,  and I toss and turn in the process but no decision is wrong at the time you actually make it, its just circumstances that change. So here goes.

Following on from my last post (and perhaps I am slightly out of synch in that I should have posted this first)  I felt I ought to explain the background for posting up the poem For a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime apart from the fact it is a rather lovely poem it is an explanation in its own right.

As a youngster I always felt very isolated, very on my own. a loner.  Its as though I just didn't quite fit in, I was always on the edge of a group and it was like I was a piece in a jigsaw puzzle, but that piece was for another picture another time and another place.  I always felt totally disjointed as though I was never accepted for myself.  It did not help that I was intensely shy.  

Initially I had very few friends  and those I did have then were really good warts and all friends who accepted me for myself no matter what I did.  We enjoyed each other's company and were just friends  - we loved each other for the other and had no expectations other than to enjoy each other's company.

Many of those friends are still very much with me in my life  now matter how my life has changed they have been with me as a stable constant - we don't live in each other's pockets we do our own thing but we are still very much there for each other and slip in and out of each other's lives seamlessly as though our last conversation was literally only yesterday -  and carry on the conversation from there and yet in reality I may not have seen them for a few weeks.  Good honest friends.

Sometimes though a supposed friend would come into my life and then disappear without closure.  It took me a long time to realise it wasn't my fault and it is just the way things are and that nothing was meant by it .  I used to beat myself up over this.  It was only when I found the poem For A Reason a Season or a Lifetime that this really put things into perspective for me . It resonates  and sits well with me and explains an awful lot for me personally.


There are lots of pieces of beautiful poetry out there that explain things so well and so succinctly and that piece of work ends up taking on a life and purpose of its own. Words are very precious helping to convey the inner feeling and emotion which are not necessarily conveyed on a day to day basis, but it does not mean that person is not feeling them.  Its a form of self-expression - which sometimes does not see the light of day.


At one point I became so frustrated at not being able to learn new things that I was interested in because there was no one else to go with that I started to go to things on my own in relation to subjects that I was interested in as I needed to grow and explore as a person in my own right.  I did not really know anyone and to start with  and was a little lonely at first.  However once I got into it  I found I loved the subject matter and by taking that step I have very gradually ended up making life-long friends as a result of a common interest.  These are people of like minds and its great.  More warts n all friends that have come into my life and enriched it for the better.

All my warts n all friends are slightly "warped" in that they are not afraid to be themselves, are often eccentric full of fun and are not afraid to have a good belly laugh or "grow old disgracefully". [You know who you are] They are also  able to laugh at themselves, and can be as daft as a brush should the occasion require.  In a nutshell they are very much "individuals" - even those that I have met over the Internet but haven't actually met in person of whom there are many, but they also come from a diverse mixed range of age groups.  


But most of all they "Dance"

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Meet the Moggies

  • Merlin (approx 18 months)
  • Squeak (approx 2 years)
  • Poppy (approx 16 years)
  • Tyson (approx 17 years)
  • Tinky (official name Clover approx 18 years)