Sunday, 15 February 2009

Loneliness and a Kind word

Loneliness is a sad thing and can hit anyone and everyone, the very young and the much older.

Its funny you can be in a room full of people all chattering and interacting with each other and yet you can feel so alone, as though you are not connecting on any level or that anyone really feels your pain. Sometimes we make the requisite noises, but really it might as well be an automaton in that position rather than a full bodied passionate person who feels and has needs.

Sometimes we go into ourselves deliberately and put up this brick wall that says halt go no further do not pass go. That's probably when we are chewing over something inside or want to be alone to sort something out - but because of pre-arranged engagements that time is not always open to us. We then become pre-occupied and distant, not joining in like those around us expect us to because we haven't had the time we need to get things straight. Sometimes we don't even realise we are keeping people at bay. That is loneliness of our own making in a roundabout fashion, although it is not always the case.

Loneliness can be soothed however by a walk in the countryside - walking the dog is always good - beautiful places and a change of scenery can give more healing and balm to the soul because you are able to just simply be at one with yourself without interruption.

The sound of water always soothes me and ideally I would love to live near a stream a river or the sea. I am fascinated by water - its power, its gentleness toughness and extreme cruelty.

That is one scenario, however, what about the widow who is now on her own after many years of happy marriage; her children have flown the nest, they keep in touch as best they can, but they have busy lives too. She does not want to be a burden to anyone and sometimes it is days before she has any interaction of any sort; that is enforced loneliness. Sometimes caused by the way they have been pre-conditioned in their early years i.e. that you don't push yourself forward for anything as it is rude to do so.

Your words and your interaction may not mean anything special to you - but they mean an awful lot to the person who is on their own; its an act of love and kindness and a confirmation that they do exist and do count.

People are on their own for many different reasons but sometimes they have an inate fear of rejection by others, because this is what has happened in the past with people who are less than generous in spirit.

Next time you are in a hurry remember it is a kind word and a simple smile that brings down barriers between people. Just because people are younger or older does not mean that they don't have something legitimate to add by way of ideas or practicalities as each person's experiences in life are unique to themselves.

And next time when you are down or feeling out of it and really lonely - start looking for the silver lining to the cloud - its always there somewhere.

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Meet the Moggies

  • Merlin (approx 18 months)
  • Squeak (approx 2 years)
  • Poppy (approx 16 years)
  • Tyson (approx 17 years)
  • Tinky (official name Clover approx 18 years)