Listening and a Reaction to a Cause

Someone Came a Knocking by Walter De La Mere

Someone came a knocking at my wee small door

Someone came a knocking I am sure, sure, sure.

I listened, I opened, I looked from left to right,

But nought there was a stirring in the still dark night.

Only the busy Beetle tap-tapping on the wall

Only from the forest, the screech owl's call,

Only the Cricket whistling whilst the dew drops fall

So I know not who came a knocking, at all, at all, at all.

As a a child I belonged to the local Pathfinders Group (Church) and we were encouraged to take part in all sorts of activities, which were made fun but from which we actually learned from.

The above poem I had to learn by heart and then recite in a crowded auditorium at the tender age of nine years old.  It was an experience and I learned a lot from it but Mum and Dad were not able to come to support me which was a really big thing for me as I was not a confident child. Although I had other members of the group with me and at that age things can be very intimidating as I was a naturally shy child its not the same as having someone you love supporting you all the way. Its too long ago to remember the results now, but I think I did more than okay but it was a new arena for me and up until that point I had not realised how competitive people can or could be.  

The content of the poem was very relevant and poignant in my mind today as I have noticed of late that certain people (not all) gloss over what you are trying to say to them and do not really listen to what you are trying to tell them. They are very self-absorbed.  These days I just let it go.  That is not my issue, it is theirs, but then I remember how I was when I was growing up.  My self-confidence was not very high and I was easily put off, of things by other people's reactions and in reality it manifested as a "put-down" and that you were not quite "good enough" and that as a result were made to feel different and inadequate.

Equally people do not find it easy to open up to others and then tend to hold things inside which is equally not good as you are not dealing and resolving the issue but are stockpiling it and putting more wood on the fire as it were.  

It is also my experience from previous work that just because a firm puts people in positions where they are technically your go to person and you are supposed to work with them, in reality that does not work either.  People choose who they speak to themselves.  It is a deeply personal matter and one of trust a lot of the time.

I am personally frequently accused of bottling things and not speaking about things, yes I hold my hands up, but that is a lot of the time because there is no one I feel I can go to at that particular time and totally trust and also understand my perspective.  I am sure I am not alone in this.

Which brings me on to loneliness and also sometimes mental health issues.  You can be in a room of crowded people and yet still feel lonely.  That is a fact.  Possibly because you are with people who are not on your wave length or you gel with or indeed share similar hobbies or interests.  Whatever the reason loneliness is a killer.  It can isolate you and lead to other issues.  

Often people feel isolated by their peers, (sometimes cliques are formed and no new person allowed to enter) which makes people feel extremely uncomfortable and feel themselves to be wanting because often "unintentionally" they are left out.

Another time isolation happens because of something that has happened and because that person has no one that they can talk to and share.  They just go round and round in circles a lot of the time being their own worst critic and because often these people are very conscientious and kind in their own right they drive themselves to distraction and convince themselves that things are a lot worse than they actually are in reality.   Often they want to work things out but don't know how.  Sometimes all they need is someone to listen to them and be a sounding board to help and try work things out.  Often it is the biggest kindness that you can give to people is to listen to them or do something nice for them.

I think in many respects the Internet has opened up a different way of communicating with people of like minds as it were, but often it can isolate as well. 

Just taking a moment to help someone else during the day may not be much to you, but to that other person you may have well given them the holy grail, because you have taken the time to be kind and to listen to them.  Often talking about things helps with a new perspective and new ways of dealing with things.  

However there are those that do not get the opportunity to talk and purge their systems of what is bugging them and therefore the monkey stays on their back and grows into something a lot deeper and darker and it weighs that person down when in reality it could be solved by a little care and attention.  May I ask if you have the opportunity to really listen to someone and help them work something out you do.  I know that there are a lot of kind people who read this blog but giving a little time here and there to each other always helps.

At the end of the day its not what happens that really matters it is how you deal with it that is the important thing and sometimes everyone of us needs help or assistance along the way.  No man in reality is an island we put up barriers for protection because of past experiences, and getting hurt.  for the best of intentions but then end up "ring fencing ourselves in" and we don't know how to get out. That is why I say often how people behave or front up in reality is a reaction to a cause.  However listening may just be the key to their freedom.

Catch you soon.


Pattypan

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