I cannot settle

I cannot settle at the moment - something is in the wind I can feel the change in my bones and the inner core of me.  When I get like this I cannot settle to anything or focus properly on anything at all.  It is quite annoying from my point of view as I am simply itching to get on with things .  I certainly have a lot to do as usual but I am wondering whether it is because the sap is arising from the ground into the trees.  Birch trees are well routed and the sap is being collected now to make wines to re-energise the spirit and the soul.  Or put quite simply is it just Spring coming.  The change in the wheel.

I am a Spring baby as was my father (both of us born in May)and he always used to be the same.  Equally though it may be an indication that I need to root myself ever more into the earth's energies and step away from the hurley burley of modern life and try and live a simpler way altogether. "Going back to my roots" as they say.  Its funny that the word "roots" and earth energies seem to be an unconscious theme in this post.  Perhaps my Reiki and my inner sixth sense are telling me to root myself more.  Perhaps that is the answer.  Although when I sat down to write this post I did not have a thought in my head and the words have just flowed.  Ironic really as I have had a little writer's block of late.

I have worked full time all my life - not even stopping to have children so fitting everything in can sometimes be a bit like a jigsaw sometimes it fits sometimes it is disastrous.  But to step away I need to have another source of income and to be able to focus and have a little financial backing in order to do the things that I wish to do.  I need that to settle outstanding bills and to buy a property with a bit of land that I can work and feel the soil in my fingers and be more connected through the changes in the seasons and keeping some chickens and some goats and growing my own perhaps with a few fruit trees as well.  Perhaps its the country coming out after all I am a country girl who lives in the city.  My heart is not really where I am although I make the best of it.  Everything has a cycle though -  I trust that I will be taken to where I need to be and that serendipity, chance and fate are all intertwined and will happen when the moment is right.

Yesterday for instance there was a bargain on ebay I would have loved to take advantage of.  A cooker like a Rayburn but it was another make.  Went for £82.50 only catch was  you had to travel, take it out and then transport it home and then refit it where you wanted it.  One heck of a bargain although a little bit of messing about in between.  OH just grunted when I mentioned it.  However I plan little bits and collect bits as I go along.  Everything has a purpose and a place  - bit like a patchwork quilt.  I shall keep my eye out for things that are going to be useful.  Its nice to have new things but I do not like paying through the nose.

I watch Ebay on a regular basis. Mostly for ideas on pricing which is very up and down, sometimes for inspiration, sometimes because I am collecting things.  I am slowly collecting Cornishware blue and white containers and anything related a piece at a time.  I look at some of the larger collections and think if only  I was able to afford that; but I am confident that moment will come in time. So far I have paid no more than £20 apiece but some of the larger storage like the bread crock you need an awful lot of pennies for. I already have the pine dressers on which to site the storage jars.  I have been looking at individual pieces of furniture as well as meat safes and other storage items for the pantry.  So really the Internet is a wonderful thing in that it brings us into contact with things or people or places that we were otherwise unconnected to.

I am very interested at the moment in trying to obtain charts or patterns for traditional Berlin wool work patterns or reproductions or even modern day charts.  I like doing Needlepoint and I have a theme for my "fairy tale" lounge/best room/front room whatever you want to call it which consists of pinks, greens, creams, roses and flowers.  I am slowly working Needlepoint panels as I can.  Some have had their backings already sewn on using the colour palate mentioned above and the Berlin wool patterns are ideal for what I would like to achieve.

I am also rather taken with crewel work patterns of flowers but I have not seen any charts for them or would not know where to go either.  I have seen some available for sale mass produced but I do not want to buy I want to be able to make my own.  Make my home my own.

I am interested in sourcing the charts so that I am prepared for when I eventually do get all my UFOs completed and out of the way which may be sometime if I carry on with no focus at the moment when the inner me is stamping her foot and wanting to get on.

So its been a bit of a quiet dreamy day here; the wind has been howling like a good un, the cat was not interested in staying out he was howling to be let in big wuss but darling cat that he is.  I have not done much have not had the energy or the focus to do things but I really need to get cracking.  I have so much to do and so little time to achieve it. 

Ah well such is life you have to dream; one day though it will be a reality.

Catch you later.

Pattypan

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