Plans and Dreams

I have so many floating around in my mind's eye that I do not seem to be able to settle on anything at the moment.  Sometimes I have my head in the sky planning and plotting this and that, that I forget to live in the everyday.  I am perhaps worn out because of too much dreaming and not enough doing.  At the end of the day it is a question of balance and I need to try and restore my inner equilibrium which at the moment is all over the shop.  Tied to everyday restrictions and practicalities does not help the mix but at the end of the day you have to make the most of what presents itself to you.  Sometimes it is not the journey or the specific element you are dealing with at the time but the way you deal with things that is the learning curve never mind that sometimes you feel as though you are treading in perpetual quicksand.

I am time rich in some respects at the moment but because I have lost focus I am not achieving very much. It is seriously grieving me but I wonder whether the ether is making me rest!  I have lots of things to go at because that is what I do i.e. stockpile things to make or do when I am able to so that when times get tighter I still have some creative project that I can go at.  That is just the way I am.  I now need to get quite a few things sorted out across the spectrum including trying to bring those projects which have been sidelined for a while into being a lot of them being handcrafted and realistically like everything else this is going to take some time.  However I believe getting back to concerted focused crafting will help me sort the rest of the issues out. I need to play in order to be able to  stabilise myself somewhere especially when factoring in the health issues I have from time to time.

One of the dreams I have always had is to have a large enough house so that I can fit in everyone and have a proper family Christmas with family and friends as well. The house here is far too small for me to entertain properly and it is a lot smaller than what I have had in the past.  What with two step-children and their partners, four children of various ages plus the dog and cats x 5 it would be more than sardines for Christmas and everyone needs a little space to move.  Something will turn up eventually.  See what I mean about being restricted!  One day!

So after another day of doing nothing, getting frustrated, coughing (not as much as yesterday) I have decided to put some play time into each day so that instead of carrying on with something already started I give myself a break and a bit of play time rather than just working continually which is what has been happening thus far.  I am trying to break a spiral which thus far have not been able to stop.  So another attack from a different direction.  A slight restructure on the stuff I normally do and a little bit more discipline I am hoping will bring me back on track.  Fingers crossed and toes plaited.

In the meantime, we have had a lovely rib eye steak for tea served with home made chips, fried mushrooms, onions and bread and butter.  Has gone down very nicely.

Right tomorrow is a new day and I need to get more done so that I do not feel a full and abject failure.

Catch you soon.

Pattypan 

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