Determined to do something

 although am in a better space after the good belly laugh last night over the lost (now found) Dad's Army skit - it just took me really funny and I ended up having a good old chuckle. This was much needed despite being at a low ebb and despite not being 100% something needed to break the mood.  Apart from having to firefight my own health issues, I am dealing with G. 

In any event today I decided to go into the back bedroom. I have to do something to keep me occupied and to stop my mind wandering. I get so cross with myself when I am on a low - there is always Ying and Yang to everyone, however I do not like this side of me i.e. dark and low mood more than anything else.  It is not who I am.  I do know it has to come out and I do have to allow myself to re-charge which is why I often distance myself.  That re-charge usually takes me longer than others though. I should not compare as no two situations are the same - similar but part of my own personal battle of dealing with things and under no circumstances giving in. Non-negotiable as far as I am concerned.  These things are sent to try us and it is all about getting through to the other side at the end of the day whatever that encompasses. I suppose metaphorically speaking I am giving myself a good dust down and good talking too with the intention of getting things done and dusted again. 

Could not face the kitchen today.  Determined to dig out the rest of the paper crafting stuff and see if I can squeeze it all into one box. Have already done some.  There is another reason as well in that a lot of my project bags have gone a little bit crazy and are not in the back bedroom where they should be, but in the craft room on the desk and as I intend having a day with the sewing machine it needs tidying so that I get to play a bit for a change.  There are some small sewing tasks that will pretty up some bits but have a practical purpose as well and to tell you the truth I just want to mess around and see what happens let the creative juices out to play for a change.  It is also a good way of getting back into using the machine after a period of time away from it.

Thought this would be a simpler and not as onerous a task as dealing with the kitchen.  I am just not in the right headspace to tackle that today. May have to start that tomorrow.

It has been cold, and wet day and the sky is trying to brighten up a bit (4:12pm).  It has since turned into a wild and windy night and is raining quite heavily.  It is a Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK and often (not always) that involves rain somewhere down the line.  I just hope it is a brighter and warmer weekend as I would ideally like to get out into the garden for some fresh air and to strip a few more bits out in the garden and get them ready for a tip run next week.  I also quite fancy a walk as I want to look for some wild garlic to preserve and use.

To park our car in the street we have to pay for a Resident's Parking permit.  It is all done online, and for the best part I have most of the documentation on my computer.  However, I am encouraging G to deal with things as well instead of just leaving them to me which he is want to do. Nothing is ever straightforward with him. He has successfully (after I had sorted out all the documentation for him and nursed him through the application) and sent it to him so that he has it on his computer) dealt with this for another year and has also saved the documents on his computer as he will need them for other things and other applications.  As far as I am concerned this is a success in the bigger scheme of things (even though he had a few hiccups) and hopefully I am helping him to become more independent in this respect as well.

I am still off my food as is G.  Have just had some Egg Mayonnaise sandwiches for tea, a bag of crisps and a cup of tea.  That will do me nicely for today.

Have a lovely evening everyone, keep safe, keep warm.

Catch you soon.

Pattypan

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